The Plan
by The Physicist
Summary: The Enterprise is in trouble, and Pike is unwilling to save her. Kirk must decide where his loyalties truly lie. (Pike/Kirk)


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Star Trek or any of its characters, Paramount does, and I didn't create them either, Roddenberry did.  
**Notes:** This was written for the lj "happy_trekmas" gift-exchange! Thank you to the wonderful mods there for organising it!

**The Plan**

_Warp-core malfunction in three, two, on-_

"Yeah, sorry about that, Admiral," Jim said as his fist came down with a bang on the panel in front of him in engineering. The computer's voice was silenced. "That happens sometimes. Nothing to worry about though!"

He could tell by the eyebrow Pike had raised, and was not lowering, that the fabulous Kirk-grin was not going to get him out of this one. And as if on cue there was a boom in the distance and yet another emergency siren started ringing inside his wrecked ship.

"I think," Pike shouted above the din, "that I have seen enough. We should discuss this somewhere quieter."

At that Jim's uniform tunic felt heavier and his heart started to pound against his chest cavity, but he put on a small smile and nodded. He pulled his shoulders back and stood tall. Pike's eyes had narrowed momentarily. Now his former mentor leaned back in his wheelchair and cocked his head to one side.

"Do you think this is some kind of game you can still win?" Pike asked.

They stared at each other, while the number of alarm sirens seemed to multiply until all Jim could hear was one loud droning noise that still did not manage to block out the sound of his own heart hammering inside him.

Pike said something inaudible to Jim's ears, but it looked a lot like he was forming the words "It's over."

Jim leant back against a dangerously unstable load-bearing column and folded his arms across his chest. He could win this staring contest. The_ Enterprise_ was not junk. Not yet. He had to fight for her. Eventually Pike looked away and shook his head.

Jim came over and leant down. "The bridge? Even if you have already made your decision, we both owe the _Enterprise_ at least that final respect."

The admiral lowered his head further. "Very well."

Jim pulled on his tunic as they waited for the turbo lift. He avoided looking down at Pike. _It's not over yet. You can't give up now!_ he told himself. At the same time he felt a heavy weight forming in his stomach. Pike cared as much for the ship as he did and it would not be hard to crack through Pike's emotional armor. Once it was torn down, Pike would agree to a re-fit of the ship. One kiss... that was all it would take to turn Admiral Pike into _his Chris_, to make him consider Jim's feelings on the matter too. Chris was already looking for an excuse not to scrap the _Enterprise_. He could find one if he just looked hard enough, he only needed an additional, small, motivational push... one kiss.

The lift ride seemed to take forever.

"Listen, kid. I told you to take care of her." Pike's smile was brittle.

"I tried my best, I swear I did," Jim replied. "And I got her out of that Romulan ambush, didn't I? In one piece. More… or less."

"You did well. You got her back to Earth."

The turbolift door swished open and they stepped onto the bridge.

"Please leave us alone," Jim commanded and the small compliment of crew members who had been doing repairs to various bridge stations all shuffled into the turbolift. No one looked him in the eye.

Once Jim and Pike had the bridge to themselves Jim strode to its centre, staring at the destroyed viewscreen. He spun around on the balls of his feet, his hands clenched—he was ready to deliver the most heart wrenching speech to Chris. Ready, to declare his love for both Chris and the ship... but not a single word reached his lips; not a single syllable was able to pass the knot that had formed in his throat.

"Go," Chris whispered, his voice shaking slightly.

Jim furrowed his brow until he noticed the hand, palm upturned. Chris was motioning for him to take a seat – in the captain's chair. Jim did. He sat down and closed his eyes. _Damnit, Chris_, he thought,_ don't make this difficult. Don't make me beg, don't make me-_

He was interrupted by the weight of a hand on his knee. Chris was in front of him.

"Take your time to say goodbye to her, Jim. But you're going to have to let her go. She's beyond repair."

"No. Are you sure you aren't simply trying too hard? You don't want to be seen to be making a sentimental choice, but this ship—we saved Earth with her! Against Nero. How much is that worth to us? To every human alive in this quadrant? A few months longer in the docks? What are another few billion Federation credits really when all is said and done?"

Jim gripped the arm-rests tightly. Chris's eyes were misting up, but at the same time his grip on Jim's knee was starting to become painful. Anger and grief intermingled. Their emotions were now matched.

_This is it_, Jim thought. The realization that his plan had worked out, that taking Pike to the bridge would break him down, until he was Chris... it hit Jim like a bucket of cold water. I have him just where I want him. I can get him to save this ship – for my sake. Just… lean in. He leant forwards until his face was a mere inches away from his former mentor's. The older man's pupils dilated a fraction. The air that separated their lips seemed to get thinner and was losing substance fast. Chris could have pulled back, moved his head away. Instead he'd come closer. The_ Enterprise _wasn't lost yet, damnit! She wouldn't be if he played Chris right.

Their lips met and while he felt soft warmth from Chris, all Jim was providing in return was mechanical coldness. All his lips were doing was going through the motions. The gates holding back his strong emotions for Chris hadn't broken.

Because this was a ploy to manipulate Chris's emotions in order to get what he wanted.

Jim yanked his head back so hard he hurt a muscle in his back. The pain in his back was dull and not interesting enough to deliver him from that damning assessment by his conscience that was still echoing in his mind.

"Jim? I'm sorry. I shouldn't I have. I thought—"

"No, I'm sorry." He slowly got up. "Let's leave. Or we'll be late for the meeting."

_The meeting where you have to present your verdict that the_ Enterprise _is not salvageable._ Jim didn't say that out loud though, instead merely clenching his jaw as they waited in silence for the turbo lift. _When people have accused me in the past of caring about the ship above all else, I believed them. But I guess we were wrong all along. There are some people, some very particular people, for whom I care more._

The End


End file.
